


Unlike Father, Unlike Son

by HuntingPeople (ChaosAngel1111)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, But mostly fluff, Dean needs to communicate, Fluff, I've been out of the fanfiction game too long and I have no idea how to tag anymore, Kinda, M/M, Set any time after they discover the bunker, almost, and panic attacks, maybe a lil' angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 07:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosAngel1111/pseuds/HuntingPeople
Summary: Dean took another deep breath, and another, tried to keep his breathing steady, ignored the bad memories that tried to make themselves known. Eventually he mumbled, "I don't wanna be like my dad."





	Unlike Father, Unlike Son

**Author's Note:**

> I finished a fanfic for the first time in yEARS, hello SPN fandom I'm new, please treat me well //And by new I mean I've been here two years and haven't really gotten involved sWEATS
> 
> I'm extremely rusty when it comes to writing, and this is my first time writing Destiel, please keep that in mind!
> 
> Also this is kinda a vent fic? In which Dean is me and faces very real fears that I have, wHEEZE, something happened recently and it really hurt me, so this has been on my mind a lot.

They'd been dating for months now and everything was amazing, beyond amazing, it was perfect, yet Dean couldn't help feeling terrified. Every time he and Cas had a nice moment his brain helpfully supplied memories of his parents fighting.

John always found some way to rile Mary up until she started screaming, and then he'd scream right back until he got tired and stormed of, front door slamming behind him. Sometimes he'd return hours later, sometimes days. Sometimes he'd still be angry and the fighting would continue, sometimes he'd sigh in defeat and mumble an apology.

Dean hated the memories, hated that his brain wouldn't let him forget. He just wanted to be happy with Cas, and Sam, in the Men of Letters bunker. He already had a ridiculous amount of monsters and world-ending monster related disasters to worry about, he didn't need the fear of potentially becoming his father looming over him too.

Dean became somewhat obsessed with anything related to relationship advice. Books, magazines, blogs, YouTube videos, anything he could find that would help him keep what he had with Cas.

Communication was key, it seemed, as long as he actually talked to Cas, and didn't keep secrets, he should be able to avoid fights. That sounded easy enough, except Dean didn't want to tell Cas about this specific fear, because what if Cas decided it was stupid? What if he decided that keeping Dean wasn't worth telling him everything and spilling all his secrets?

It was terrifying, but he needed to tell Cas, wanted to tell Cas. He needed to ignore his damn brain telling him why it was a bad idea, because Cas loved him, he would understand.

It took Dean another month to finally work up the courage to tell Cas about his fears.

He sat at the end of his bed, waiting, Cas would arrive soon, he slept there now, with Dean. 

The panic built inside Dean, his heart beat faster, his breath picked up, as memories of John yelling morphed into images of him and Cas screaming at each other, hurting each other with words.

"Dean!"

He jerked his head up, Cas was knelt in front of him, hands on his knees, blue eyes filled with worry.

"Cas? When did you..?" Dean frowned, leaned back, tried to get his breathing under control.

Cas stood and moved to sit beside Dean, placed a hand on the hunter's shoulder. "Are you alright, Dean?"

"Um-" Dean shifted, turned his head away from cas, "I-", he paused, took a deep breath, glanced at Cas quickly, "Promise you won't laugh? Or-... Just hear me out please?"

"Of course, Dean." The hand on Dean's shoulder moved down his arm, and then Cas took one of Dean's hands into his own, holding it gently, thumb stroking his knuckles.

Dean took another deep breath, and another, tried to keep his breathing steady, ignored the bad memories that tried to make themselves known. Eventually he mumbled, "I don't wanna be like my dad."

Another glance at Cas.

The angel was just sitting there, patiently waiting for Dean to continue.

"I- My dad, he-... He fought with my mom and I don't want us to be like that Cas." Dean managed to force out, and wow OK that felt good. "I don't want us to fight all the time Cas, I don't want us to be angry at each other all the time, and I'm scared Cas. I'm scared that I'll just keep making you angry, or I'll keep finding things to be mad about and I'll force you to leave-" He cut himself off with a jolt when he realized he'd started crying.

Dean took his hand fron Cas and scrubbed at his face, roughly drying the tears.

"Dean, look at me." Cas stated firmly, taking a hold of Dean's chin, turning him until he could focus on green eyes. "I can't promise that we'll never fight."

Dean's breath hitched and he wanted to look away, this was it, Cas was going to break up with him, he should have kept his stupid mouth shut.

"You're stubborn and reckless and don't listen at the best of times, but I promise you Dean Winchester, I will tell you when when I'm scared and have doubts, we'll talk Dean and we'll make this work OK? You are nothing like your father," Cas fell back against the bed and pulled Dean down on top him, he pressed a brief kiss to Dean's lips, "I love you very much."

Well that wasn't what Dean was expecting at all, he can't fight the grin that threatens to split his face, "Love you too, Cas." He whispered, leaning down to catch Cas's lips again.  
They stayed there for several long moments before eventually, tucking themselves under the covers properly. Cas on his back, Dean curled at his side, head resting on Cas's chest. He falls asleep quickly, knowing that he doesn't need to be afraid, because Cas undertsands, and he and Cas are going to do their best to make what they have work.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate this, I hate this so much, but I hope it was enjoyable for you people??
> 
> Feel free to come yell at me on Tumblr @ huntingpeoplemakingart, I'm lonely and need friends  
> I can also be found on deviantART @ HuntingPeople


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